Dealing with Breakups
The exit of a relationship can be very painful, but if you are aware of the reasons behind the lack of harmony within the partnership and why you have chosen to allow it to continue for as long as you did, you can exit the relationship with little or no scar tissue.
Explained in Chapter 16 of my book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships”, an understanding of a person's fear of abandonment, being alone, or what is called repetition compulsion can offer insight as to why you may be connecting with the wrong partners. This has a lot to do with a need to repeat past hurtful situations in order to overcome them.
After a breakup, the objective should not be to jump into another relationship and meet someone else but to meet yourself. This is to create an awareness as to why you act the way you do in a relationship. That is why you may be choosing the wrong partners and why you accept less than what you deserve. While this is happening, of course, there will be fears and anxiety to overcome. These can be used to discover exactly what your fear is. It is also important to note, that many of the best artwork, songs, poetry, businesses, and more, have been created during this time of heartache. That being said, realize the potential you have for healing and creativity and act on them.
There are many ways to overcome the anxiety and fear and allow you to feel yourself again. This will allow you to attract the best person suited for who you are and what you offer to a relationship. This is the path to finding a more fulfilling relationship going forward.
Anxiety from a breakup can be very threatening to your system and in order to overcome it, a psychological, spiritual, and nutritional approach often needs to be taken. Here are 5 solutions to overcome anxiety after a breakup and get back to being yourself.
5 solutions to overcome anxiety after a breakup
- Meditation – This will allow you to get back to feeling who you are, find yourself, and overcome your fears of being alone for the rest of your life; something people often tell themselves when they go through a break-up. If you are unsure of the benefits specifically for you, or how to meditate, you can visit my page on meditation Here
- Exercise – Exercise has been proven to be more effective than many antidepressants. When we exercise, our bodies release certain mood-enhancing endorphins, releases muscle tension, improves sleep, and reduces levels of the stress hormone Cortisol.
- Avoid sugar, alcohol, and drugs. Alcohol is one of the few things that is a stimulant as well as a depressant. Although they might help you to forget your fears in the short term drugs and alcohol will make you feel worse and sugar has been shown to have very similar effects as drugs. (see more on that in my blog about anxiety)
- Know your “Emotional Prison.” An emotional prison is your place of strong negative emotion created by your ego, that prevents you from allowing you to have or get what you want. It’s the place you go when you are worried about something negative happening in the future that you feel is out of your control. A big part of overcoming anxiety mentally is awareness. There are many techniques that point out as to why your attention is in the future creating a negative outcome. In my book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships” there are many techniques such as this that offer techniques to help find happiness. (Learn about "Emotional Prisons" here)
- Getting out in the sun or touching the earth. Being in touch with nature has a profound effect on your physical and mental health. The book “Earthing” presents a lot of research showing how touching the earth is beneficial for you. See my blog on Earthing here. Many studies have proved the Vitamin D the sun provides can improve your mood and health. See my blog on Vitamin D and the Sun here.
- And Journal! - This is often the only way you can get in touch with what you're feeling and get it out of your system. It's incredibly underrated by those who don't do it until they do. I hope you try it so you can see how much better you'll feel.
- Sleep - If you're not able to sleep see my blog here on what to do to help you get to sleep.
- Deep Breathing - See the video below or see my blog here on Deep Breathing
In closing, I would suggest avoiding jumping into another relationship. Just like anything else, when you are desperate, you accept less than what is good for you. It is best to spend time to learn what you want and what you can offer to a relationship. My book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships,” can show you just that.
For more posts about relationships and how to improve yours based on techniques from my book visit the tab "Relationships 101" or click here!
For more on anxiety see my blog on overcoming anxiety naturally here
If you really want to turn things around, my seminars are now available online here "The Change Your Life Seminar" can provide great help.