Relationship 101 Couples in conflict – Giving up Self-Righteousness – Part 1 of 3

Category- Relationship advice

Summary – Couples who have a lot of conflict often have this because they are too stuck in their point of view and need to be more aware of the importance they have on being “right.”

A relationship can be defined by the each partner’s ability to give up their self-righteousness. That means that couples with a lot of conflict between each other have that because each partner is too often stuck in their point of view. Being stuck in your point of view is not supportive of the relationship but only of your side of an argument. This shows a lack of compassion for your partner.
People who are often thinking how right they are and spend their time building evidence to prove their side of an argument often wonder why their relationships never work out.

Excerpt from the book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships”:

One of the many important lessons learned in a loving relationship is the value of moving off your position for the greater good of those involved. The stronger person, the supporter of the relationship, recognizes wrongdoing, forgives, apologizes, and does not wish to hold onto self-righteousness. The weaker person needs to hold on to the negative feeling. Those who choose to hold on to self-righteousness can never hold on to good relationships.
Investigate to see where you have a need to be right. Statements like, “I don’t want to fight but...” are usually starting a fight because this person just wants to be right about something without hearing the other side. The ability of both parties to give up their self-righteousness defines a relationship.

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One of the qualities of someone in the unhealthy side of the personality types in the book is that they are often very stuck in their point of view. This type of focus might help one category called “Selfish Entitleds” to get what they want, but it also makes it difficult to get along with them. It is dangerous to be in a relationship with someone like this because they will go to great lengths to always be right. They spend so much time and energy trying to create and maintain a perfect image of themselves that they prefer to damage or lose relationships rather than this perceived image. You can learn how to identify a “Selfish Entitled,” in Chapter three of “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships.”

Letting go of self-righteousness has nothing to do with either person being wrong. There are often times when both partners are right in their point of view. The importance should be placed on the compromise and respecting the relationship over the point of view. Love is the only thing that transcends self-righteousness. For this reason, the depth of love a couple has for one another is related to how well they compromise in this area.

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The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships: Build a Great Relationship with the Right Partner and Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong one