Recognizing a Controlling Partner
Based on the personality types in my book, “The Power of Personality Types,” it is the responsibility of “The Entitled” in the relationship to offer protection for their partner and the relationship. But control can often be disguised as care or protection.
In this video I explain excerpts from my book that can offer you clues to know when you’re with a controlling partner showing three typical qualities of a controller. In the healthiest relationships each partner will feel comfortable with the other having independence because they know they will choose to be together regardless.
Needing control in a relationship is typical of a personality type in my book called a “Selfish Entitled”. A remedy for control is trust and this comes through vulnerability with your communication.
More info on how to identify a Selfish Entitled is in my book and what to do if you are attracted to this type of person. “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships.”
A controlling person might feel that controlling a partner replaces the lack of control they felt as a child, alleviating some of their fear and possibly resentment. The negative past experience does not necessarily have to be obvious abuse as a child. Everyone is sensitive to different things. Controlling others could be simply an attempt to overcome the ill-treatment from a well-meaning yet critical or judgmental parent.
When evolving a person realizes there are two options: either trust or control. One cannot exist if the other is present. A strong degree of closed-mindedness is also typical of those who try to control others, this is why the fight against this, led by awareness, starts with the open-mindedness to realize it exists as a pathology, not reality.
(This is typical behavior of the personality type in my book called ‘selfish entitled’)
In addition to the information in my book on overcoming issues with control, I would also recommend meditation in order to help you to quiet your mind and find peace and further awareness. You can learn how to meditate and the benefits of it by clicking on my blog here.
See the reviews on Amazon:
The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships: Build a Great Relationship with the Right Partner and Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong one
Click here to hear an interview with Bill Farr about Personality Types for Jennywire, online, self-help magazine.