Boy to Man
In relationships, there are two kinds of men to date. There are boys and men. You want to find one who has made the transition to being a man. How can you tell how is a boy? If you have looked for this information, you are probably with a boy.
Qualities of boy (and a girl not a woman) are selfishness, narcissistic, unable to see the other person’s point of view, little compassion, focus is on what they want or what they are not getting. Boy’s or girls in relationships complain a lot, are never satisfied, always thinking what else is out there for him or her, and shares with only the intention of getting something out of it. The person does not have to have all of these qualities to be in the boy or girl category but any one of them, more than 50% of the time
Here are more characteristics broken down further.
– A Man takes responsibility. He doesn’t need to be told what to do.
– A Boy doesn’t do anything unless he has to. He waits to the last minute avoiding any responsibility.
– Takes responsibility
– Handles multiple jobs (father, husband, boss, employee, son)
– Takes care of others.
– Will be ethically motivated despite who notices.
– Sees how he’s hurt the other person and reflects on their upset (empathy and compassion)
– Happy to do things for others.
– Are open to criticism and always looking to evolve and improve themselves.
– Always looking to evolve and try to keep an open mind
– Care more about what people who matter to them think and not so much everyone else
– Stand in their confidence.
– Faces confrontation head-on.
– Celebrate other men’s accomplishments
– Stands in his power, choosing not to be a victim.
– Doesn’t need to be asked what to do.
– Listens to the person in their lives needs.
– Evolution and the future are of ultimate importance.
– Blames others
– Flake – blows things off
– His needs are always first
– Will try to get away with everything he can
– Diverts attention when confronted, blames, gets angry
– Lazy when it comes to doing tasks for others but excited about it for themselves
– Withdraw when being called out or get defensive, deflect, aggressive, try to turn the tables
– Close minded and have difficulty with change.
– Are very concerned with appearances.
– Often trying to prove themselves and how great they are, lying about their accomplishments or actions.
– Lie to avoid confrontation.
– Are easily intimidated by other men and often put others down.
– Plays the victim whenever convenient.
– Have to constantly tell them the same things
– Gets aggressive when defending (the idea is the best offense is a good defense) – Female version of this is to play the innocent victim.
Comfort zone and avoiding change is the ultimate importance.
Other potential qualities of a boy are that he watches cartoons, plays video games, or other useless actions.
Take actions without considering consequences, put themselves in bad situations, and when questioned about it they lie more and more, then when confronted with the truth, they justify, argue, and fight like a child instead of taking responsibility.
They always feel like they deserve better than what they have and they are resentful towards others especially the women they are in a relationship with because they think they could do better.
When it comes to any responsibility boys will have what seems to be a legitimate excuse why they cannot take part. They can’t wash the dishes because they felt sick or their back hurt. Sick or hurt is a common theme of them as they will use this as a kind of victim card, or that they need to be taken care of. But it never gets in the way of doing something they want to or are excited to do.
Childish Versus Child-like
One of the things “boys” often mistake is Childish for Child-like. Boys are often proud of their childish behavior. You’ll see them trying to get the attention of their friends with immature behavior. They are proud of being skilled at video games or that they watch cartoons. Their partner will say, yes I have two kids, referring to the fact that they have both a baby and their husband to take care of.
To this, I will say I’ve never seen a successful businessman with this behavior. I’ve never seen an evolved person with this type of childish behavior.
Child-like behavior, on the other hand, is someone who can have the charm, happiness, and gratitude of a happy child. This is any person that despite being older they have the curiosity and optimism of someone who has not been jaded by failure and the stresses of life. It’s someone who is eager and open-minded for new things to come their way.
If you’re with a boy, what to do about all this?
It’s a character issue that almost always takes something drastic, such as a great loss, to spark a desire to change. They need to realize what they’re doing is not making them happy or bringing any success. They want to be a leader but need to realize they are not leading anything or anyone. Their life is continuing to go in circles leading to nowhere.
More on how to overcome negative qualities or personality types and improve your relationship can be founding my online seminars and my book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships.”
I would also recommend meditation in order to help you to quiet your mind and find peace and further awareness. You can learn how to meditate and the benefits of it by clicking on my blog here.