by Betty Louise
Seems obvious, right? I write this special article because there is more than meets the eye to receiving pleasure, especially when it comes to our sexuality.
This is the second in a 3-part series on allowing, receiving, and surrendering to pleasure as a means to enhance sex. Part one was about learning to PAUSE and allowing yourself to listen to the wisdom of your body. Part two shares the meaning of PONDER, and receiving the wisdom of your body. When you develop greater awareness through nonjudgmental PONDERing, you are able to listen to what your unique body has to say about sex and pleasure.
The PONDER principle, following a 30 second PAUSE, gives you an opportunity to connect with your body in a deep and meaningful way. When you PONDER open ended questions from an inner wisdom place, the answers will come. Patience and non judgment are required to hear your truth from within. This can be a vulnerable feeling if you live in busyness. When my clients are learning the PAUSE/PONDER process, some very basic questions I will ask them to PONDER are; what activities give you energy?, when do you feel beautiful and sexy?, and who feeds your soul? When you allow these pleasure moments and memories to float through your mind, you actually release the same positive hormones as when you had the experience initially. In addition, new ideas and thoughts on how to enhance new experiences will come. This is how you cultivate a pleasure practice.
Key ingredients of pleasure practice
- Self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-love
- Vision yourself as a positive and loving person
- Acknowledge your own unique pleasure zones without judgment or comparison
Healthy and healing sex has been elusive in our culture, due to many influences of media and even the feminist movement. Although there were many necessary and important results of feminism, like more equal pay initiatives, the fallout for our sexuality is not all positive. Women entered the masculine workplace, and began competing with men and other women taking women out of their true nature. Pure feminine energy is collaborative. When we adopted a competitive stance in the workplace, it also carried over to our home and sex life. We lost our ability to receive help, support and love from men and women, and became self-sufficient superwomen. This leaves both men and women confused and frustrated at how to fully enjoy an orgasmic and healthy sex life.
Enhancing Sex Through Pleasure Practice
* Give yourself permission to receive pleasure by the mantra "I receive pleasure easily."
* Be attentive and aware of every aspect of your body during a normal activity like walking
* Before, during, and after sex, pause and ponder your new body awareness
The good news is that it is within us to be beautiful, sensual, and sexual beings and learn how to receive pleasure easily, and uncover our natural sexual desires. After all, sex is how most of us arrived on the planet. What could be more natural?
The process back is simple, and begins with PAUSE and PONDER.
The final article is this 3-part series is on how to channel the juicy and orgasmic energy you are uncovering, and use it for a hot and juicy sex life, and then some.
Call to Action
PAUSE for 30 seconds every morning when you arise. Close your eyes, breathe into your belly, and notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Smile. PONDER throughout the day "How can I receive the beauty and sensuality of this day?" Take 5 minutes to write down at least 3 ways to incorporate pleasure into your day.
Notice your inner feelings throughout the day, and take 5 minutes at day's end to write it down.
Do this for 1 week consistently, and your sexuality whether you are with a partner or not, will begin to speak to you.
Betty Louise's Book:
About the Author
Betty Louise has been teaching and interviewing progressive thinking experts, artists and innovators from all over the world for over 20 years. She has written about her experiences in a book titled “Healing with Pleasure Medicine: Unearthing the Beautiful, Sensual, and Sexual You.”
She is an expert coach who works with receptive and broad minded people. She helps them rediscover their inner beauty, sensuality, and sexuality so that they fall in love with themselves every time they look in the mirror. Her 30 minute skype or phone sessions are powerful and insightful prompting her clients to say things like "What a wonderful addition to my life...you are."